Week 16 - What?

Wow!  4 months in and I'm still in the game.  Or really struggling to stay in the game.  Starting from Bunco in December all the way to Bunco in January, I've struggled.  I want sugar, sugar wants me.

I do think that I can overcome my sugar addiction, but then once I have a taste, it rears it's ugly head and won't leave me alone.  I need a good, solid 30 days to get it out of my system.  It's not the answer.

Yesterday I started the 14 day challenge along with my friend Molly.  I've already cheated ever so slightly, but those little cheats means I'm a cheater.  I licked avocado off the spoon last night and just drank a bit of coffee with half and half about a half hour ago.  Its those cheats that crack open the door to indulgence.  For some people it's no big deal, they eat or drink and move on.  But for me, I'm a food addict and this is a risk I should not be taking.

I really am enjoying eating lots of yummy foods.  I enjoy a year round warm climate that produces tons of fresh veggies, fruits and basically what ever I want.

I weigh 161.8 lbs.  Today is Wednesday 01.17.18.  Last Sunday I weighed 159.8 so when I went to Bunco on Monday I gained 2 lbs from eating some crackers, cheese, nuts coated with sugar, M&M's and the coupe de grace - a tangy lemon bar.  It was delicious, but too sweet.  I had a tummy ache the next day.

I really just want to stick my face in a pile of warm mushy cinnamon rolls and have it all over myself.  Okay, I know that's exaggerating, but sometimes that sounds like it's the answer to my prayers.
But I know it's not.

I hated being fat.  I hated how big my tummy got, or how swollen my feet were.  I hated buying size 14 pants and squeezing into them and extra large grandma shirts.  I hated knowing that I was becoming diabetic and had abnormal blood test for everything.  I was tired, always wanting to nap.  I never had energy.

Funny that we started the 14 day challenge when we have a fast coming up at church and I'm going to Catalina with my mom.  Salad all around.  I believe I'm going to fast lunch and dinner but still have breakfast.  I don't want to be cranky.  At work on Friday I'll have to go for a walk instead.  I need to keep worship music in my ear at all times.

Until next time....