I just want to be normal, like eat a normal healthy diet.

I do, I'm sick of obsessing about food.  I don't want to look at my macros, or be concerned with how much I weigh, or if I can or can't ever eat that.

I just want to eat a normal, healthy diet.  To me healthy means a lot of yummy veggies, salads, beans, legumes, some meats, minimal dairy.  Limited processed food.  But some I'm keeping around.  Like almond and peanut butter, coconut/almond milk. 

But this may change tomorrow as my mind changes as often as the second hand on a clock in a day.

Ugh, I feel so crazy.  So easily pulled and swayed to the next latest and greatest thing.  Low Carb, Keto, BLE, etc.

I have learned a lot about myself.  Like I really am a sugar addict.  I think I have times of the month where I really want them more.  Should I track that?  Gosh no, stop tracking everything!  But I do think it's right after my fertile period ends, about 1-12 days before my actual period.  I wonder if because the egg was not fertilized I go into a bit of hormonal depression and my body and brain crave something.  Maybe I need more fat.

I still want to plan my meals, that gives me much peace.  I still want to measure my food, that gives me much peace.  But I don't want to know calories or macros.  I want to eat ice cream or yogurt or have a treat once in a while, or a few days in a row, without feeling ridiculously guilty, I don't want to feel shame about how or what I eat.

I don't want to hate or make other people feel bad either, or shame them.

I'm okay if it's not in the house.  I can't have it in the house.